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Teensy bit ashamed.

January 13, 2014

Yesterday, after eating breakfast so late – when I was starving and just grabbed the first thing my eyes laid on. After heading to my parents house for a swim – where food is served regularly and most often hot and baked from the oven. After having friends drop in for a swim and an impromptu BBQ for dinner with NO green stuff. After all that – I once again laid awake at 3am swearing to whomever I could that I have to, need to, for the love of all things, have got to stop eating this food.

I am feeling a teensy bit ashamed to have to admit it here on blog land – I mean I don’t have to – but it is good to get it out of my head and be accountable to something…someone??

So while sitting up, sucking on my double strength Mylanta tabs, and with the energy from anger/frustration at myself I wrote out a job list for today. It had to be, needs to be and has got to be better then yesterdays efforts. It’s a pretty detailed list – get up time, walk time, how much water to drink, bed time, what I will eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, tracking and a few others. 12 small jobs to tick of my ‘To do for health today’ list.

I also made a deal that I cannot read any blogs in my feedly if I do not stick to it…eeek.. and another deal if I can stick to today {and all other days} $5 will be my reward into a personal bank account to do with what I please. It is time for drastic measures. I have to start feeling better about myself and in how I feel.

So far I can tick of 3.

I got up when I said, even though at 10am sleep hours have now been outnumbered by waking hours. I walked, but only for 20mins this morning – I plan on the other 20 later tonight {it was bloody hot out there at 7:30am 29º! and I was so so so so so thirsty I was having trouble swallowing…def time to call the walk off – its too hot here this week for dicking about with dehydration…}. I have eaten a good breakfast of rolled oats, chopped apple, yogurt, milk and a few currents.

So now I am off to keep going with my busy day… carry on ticking off my daily goals and to try to not get too hot and bothered.

A view of our week... yikes!

A view of our week… yikes!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 13, 2014 11:28 am

    Your not the only one Leanne, I too am ashamed of some of my eating habits (mostly the insane sugar cravings) which I know I can control – with some will power and forward planning on snacks – plus a few kilos put on, and hating myself 24/7 for it – it can rule nearly every thought and feeling I have sometimes about myself. I remembering how disciplined I have been before with eating and in the past exercise and with the hope that tomorrow I will improve on some of the bad habits and become that disciplined person again probably not to the extent I was 20 years ago, but to somewhere that makes me like myself and feel happier. I am better on the exercise than I have been for a while, so that’s something to feel positive about, but I know I won’t get anywhere if I don’t control the sugar cravings too.

  2. January 14, 2014 2:54 pm

    It happens sometimes! I love how you’ve been so positive about wiping the slate clean, setting clear goals and rewards! I know what you mean about this heat – I love it and hate it at the same time!!

  3. Evelyn Cale permalink
    March 15, 2014 7:15 pm

    Hey Leanne, yes definitely, it happens sometimes. You know I have always been a fitness enthusiast ever since I was assessed to have a sleep apnea (throat airway obstruction to be exact). I wasn’t diagnosed, though, just took a test ( and with a little help from a pharmacist I figured out the root cause of my snoring. Ever since that moment I swore to myself I will pay more attention to myself, my fitness, my lifestyle. I have never let myself down for that matter, until few days ago… I stumbled upon a blog post that says “live the moment.” That’s where I got the idea and the “push.” Now I have something to confess, I spent one whole day of pure indulgence, I ate my favorite ice cream in extreme, excessive amount. Swallowed too many bites of the pizza I had been missing. Munched on the chips that were among my favorites! It was sinful! But boy it was FUUUUNNN! 🙂

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