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Feelings

July 23, 2012

I am still in a bit of a strange place.

I am feeling teary and weak. Not weak as in physically, but mentally – emotionally.

Emotions or hormones or fear – I am not sure which to pick first.

I cant settle on anything. I can’t seem to decide what to do first, what job to tackle, which list to look at.

I need to exercise, shop, visit a friend, pack gear, panic, make tea, make lunch, tidy the house, panic a bit more.

~

Uni begins today.

Tonight I have my first lecture – and then tomorrow from 8am…. and then it rolls on from there.

There is so much to do, so many things to read – to learn. So many tests, assignments and exams to be done.

~

I have eaten crazy food over the weekend. Crazy enough to have me up at 3am with reflux. Crazy enough to make me feel hungover this morning.

~

We are in Week 8 of the 12wbt.

I have fear that I am running out of time. That I wont get to my goals before the end.

I know and have to remind myself by suppressing that fear, that it doesn’t end at the ‘end’. This keeps going.

I will be okay, I will stay on this path, I will continue on to good things and goals met.

~

I need to stop and remember that it will be all okay. I need to let go of the self doubt. I need to write out what has to be done, and what I can leave behind and move forward with my day. Otherwise I will run around like a fool and never accomplish anything.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 23, 2012 11:47 pm

    You can do it, you are stonger than you realise xxx

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