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A few small things…

March 9, 2012

1) My FB post yesterday….. says it all……I will admit to beginning topanic about returning to uni – one very busy birthday week has put me a week or more behind on readings/videos etc – and the doubt has crept in. But one morning of solid readings has restored (some) faith that I will be able to do it. I do not have the dumb… but have some intelligence somewhere in the deep recesses – I just need to keep digging.

2) Something I read in my text book on Aboriginal Cultures…… it struck a chord………

We are not different from other species by
having a culture which they lack; we are different in that our culture,
like our shape, is different from theirs.

{should I reference…??}

3) Gym….I am going…. but its tough. I have all but pulled out of the eight week challenge {and for a penny pincher… this stings} Last week was a hurt heel, also this week busyness, this week too I have this crazy headache that keeps coming back each day, and seemed to get worse with a higher heart rate… {der} but I persevered, kept it low-low impact putting the step away as well. I wanted so god damn badly to cry. I stuck out the 55mins of the class, ONLY cos I KNEW I would feel so much better for it. Then I drove home with tears streaming.

4) I am going through a tough time. Emotionally, Mentally, Physically. I hint at depression…. for really I dont know. Or I am in denial. I have booked in to see a counsellor next week {this is hard to write out} to try to sort through a few things going on.

5) I have a date night with my husband tonight. We are having dinner out, and seeing a Fringe show – Felicity Ward. She’s a favourite. I worry my happiness at being together and child free wont return in time.

6) I weighed in at WW this week and found myself  a mere 100g off having gained 10kg. 😯

7) I have begun tracking my food again, properly. I am aiming for 4 weeks of committment.

8) I have a such a lovely friend battling stupid cancer. And it just wont die off……..

~~~

Can you tell now where my head and my heart sit??

In total turmoil.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 9, 2012 2:23 pm

    Hopefully a night out with your husband can lift your spirits. I love Felicity Ward, she is so funny. I’m also heading into the city for a show tonight.

    Have fun and hope you are feeling better soon:)

    • March 10, 2012 12:32 pm

      Yep Felicity Ward was great – she is more of a dag than I realised!

      We did have fun and just having time to chat and wander has been a great thing!

  2. bubblymel permalink
    March 9, 2012 11:09 pm

    Oh lea, I wish I was there to give you a hug, cos it sounds like you need it!
    You truly inspire me all the time and I can understand how you feel down at times, I know you will get through it as you are an amazingly strong woman. I think it is great you are seeing a councillor it might do you some good to get some of those thoughts out! Loves xxxx

    • March 10, 2012 12:31 pm

      Thanks Mel -your support means a lot to me. Not having many around me who are on a weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey is tough some days.

      I’m sure things will come right – low points only highlight how good the highs are!

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