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linkage… and loving myself.

March 30, 2011

so exciting to see my name linked here….  I feel like a big girl now  😎

~~~

So whats been going on???

The last week or three I have been off the counting game.

No PP, no calories, no weighing/measuring food, no scales.

And it has been very free-ing.

I was getting rather caught up in it all, and at the time I was right smack bang in the middle of my 4 weeks of selfish, when I began noticing that I was obsessing, wondering, thinking, tormenting, worrying and debating far too much and it was becoming detrimental to all the hard work I was putting in.

Adding in the extra time I spend each week earning a living talking about it all as well – and I knew that something had to give. And seeing my bank account loves the $$  😉 –  it had to be me that stopped.

I am not stopping with my quest, aim and long life of lower weight and better health – oh I am in this for the long haul, this living healthy and being a happier person.

No – I am stopping the worrying that I am not as thin as I have in my head, or as thin as that ‘person over there’,  that I do not have the body shape I want/desire/dream and that I will be stepping on a scale and not seeing the ‘perfect’ set of numbers.

I am just going to be me.

Here, alive and focusing on living a great life, full of numbers – but not numbers that make me feel bad about myself… a self that is good!

I hadn’t noticed until I stopped how consumed, with all these numbers, I had become. How high is that, how heavy am I, what size is that. And the honest truth is that I dont wish to count these numbers for the rest of my days. I want a future that is free of them, and a life full of living and enjoying…not worrying about if I have enough PP for this or for that or am I too big for these pants 😉

I know that learning to live life without these numbers is the key to the longevity of my weight loss healthy life.

Everyday I am trying to stop myself from heading down the thought path that “I am” and more often ” am I??” too big, too wide, too rounded, too bloated, too soft – and the many other self depreciating thoughts that seem to come scarily very naturally….

So i am focusing more on celebrating what I am good at and what is great about me….

I am fit and healthy.

I can run for longer than 5 mins, and lift weights regularly.

I can wear {just about} all my clothes in my wardrobe and they look good on me.

I eat fabulous healthy meals made with fresh ingredients.

I drink lots of water.

I have a beautiful family.

and that’s all that matters really.

~~~

So even though I am number free, I still need to work at this healthy life daily, and the one thing that I need to focus on at the moment is my daily snacking. It gets out of control all too easily, especially with not tracking my food and I know this is going to be something that I really need to work on continuously.

I know I need to stop buying. So I am, and if I have to purchase I am going to have to buy smaller portions, and not worry that they cost more.

Right enough of that… time to go out and live…

~~~

 

 

 

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 31, 2011 12:18 pm

    Your last sentence says it all 🙂

    • April 4, 2011 10:33 pm

      yes easy to forget that living happily is what it is all about…

  2. bubblymel permalink
    April 1, 2011 8:45 am

    Good work Lea! I think you look amazing all your hard work has definitely paid off and it doesn’t matter if you are not at your goal weight right now, sometimes we do have lives to live!!! xxxx

    • April 4, 2011 10:37 pm

      Thanks Mel. Sometimes I do have to stop and remember that – and that yes things will get easier, with the kids getting older and being able to do more for themselves. I know too that this is for the long term for me and that some months/years will be harder to keep this weight maintainable, but I know it will always be something that I will continue to keep a focus on.

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