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Joining up again.

August 21, 2016

Upon hitting publish on my last post, I took a quick stroll through my archives… and I read how active and healthy I used to be. Measuring it up against the present me… and I have let so much slip in my day to day activities, eating, thoughts and actions that helped to get to a healthy weight range and be fit and feeling great.

So. On TOTAL impulse I joined up to Weight Watchers again. I did say late last year  that this would be my last time doing it. I was done. Never again.
and yes…the saying never say never bubbled to the surface.

So. I found a new meeting – and for this residential location it is not easy or within a 30 min drive. But I am willing and keen and ready to start feeling like the old me again.

With placement beginning tomorrow {eeeeeek} I hit the shops for a new bra and a new pair of work pants. And all I can say is YIKES. Those mirrors. Or really what was reflecting back at me in those mirrors.
Sadness overwhelmed me. Anger too.
I took some pictures for spurring me on when I feel like this journey is too damn hard. Those pictures will remind me that I have to do this.

So. I went to the meeting – its not as big, or loud, or fun loving as my last one…but I think I will like it. And if not – then my old meeting is just a 30 min drive in other direction🙂 The weigh in part sucked, I know it was never going to be a party – but I was about on target with where I thought I would be …. and I have wondered if I should put it out there –  but I guess at the end of the day its only a number. Although it is a number that reflects just how much I have let my old habits go. And that is tough.
90.5
Ouch.
Biggest I have ever been. Double ouch.
But weighing in means I have stepped over that fear of not knowing or not willing to do anything about it – and I am on my way.

Tracking seems to be going well so far. It is tough, the new Smart Points plan certainly has its quirks… and I am glossing over some of the more strange ones…. counting the sugar in milk….. Okay I’m moving on.
I have been tracking each day, and am up to 4. Being honest hurts, and I’m feeling a little hungry at times. Both things are really not a bad thing.
It is also TTOM for me, so mega bloating is occurring. I hope that once that resides, along with tracking and eating less crappy foods, I will feel so much better. Right now, I’m an angry, hungry, embarrassed human being.

Now, its off to bed for 6am Bootcamp and then off to school for day 1 of my placement. *deep breath*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting closer every day

August 17, 2016

I’m inching closer to my goal of finishing Uni. I have been chatting about this for what seems the longest time. 6.5 years.

So I am getting closer everyday. Closer to finishing, closer to graduating, closer to entering the workforce, closer to being a teacher, closer to ending my time as a SAHM, closer to loosing the day times on my own.

And I think that is what I am struggling with. The moving on with something new. I have settled into this new ‘normal’ pretty well now. I do a course, I spend a stupid amount of time in my study, looking at a computer and then doubting myself that I have passed. I pass, the course ends and I have glorious amounts of free time. And then I begin again on another subject.

But this time. Well, the course will be over. I will have completed every subject.

And in about 5 weeks I can call myself a graduate. Which is simply unbelievable, awe-inspiring and thrilling.

Yet it is completely shitting-my-pants frightening at the same time.

What will I do? Will I be any good? Will I hate it? Will I love it?

I will have to buy clothes, do my hair, converse with adults.

All which I have become very good at NOT doing. 6.5 years of training to be a sloppy dresser, hair in a rough pony and avoiding people. I’ve gotten comfy and complacent.

I feel I am in for a rough ride.

40

March 16, 2016

Us

I celebrated, and now I am.

And it was GREAT!

~~~

I talked last post about a birthday trip to Brisbane, of enjoying time sitting on their deck listening to music.

I also spoke of things happening that I knew nothing of. Surprises! And they were well worth the agony of not knowing.
After landing and then heading to get our bags – our friend and her family were there waiting for us and inside the terminal…Huh? We were supposed to be meeting just one, Kaz, outside in the pull-up-jump-in-really-fast passenger pickup. But as I looked over at J collecting our bags I noticed another person I recognised….. Wait? What? It turns out that as soon as I had sent my friend my text to say that we were coming up to Brissy to celebrate my birthday – last June – she sent the text onto our other good friends and they booked the same flights! To spend the same 5 days with us….. So damn good…. and so very good at keeping it quiet! We have spent so much time with them recently and they have said nothing! That was a great surprise – as the 6 of us get along so well. My heart swells with happiness to just think about how they did this for me, and kept it quiet.

So the first night we did sit on that deck, enjoying the warm humid air of Queensland. And plans for the second day were to spend time at the local farmers markets, swim at South Bank

http://www.4220.com.au/Blog/Day_trip_to_South_Bank__Brisbane_-_its_only_1_hr_from_Surfer

and then go back to the deck.But… all that day these friends talked quietly among themselves, spent time whispering in small huddles and would stop when I came near. I knew that there was a further surprise, could see it being discussed but I didn’t anticipate the exclusion I would feel when the discussions where happening around me. Actually it was pretty awful, and I can’t hide my feelings very well. They almost told me, as they could see I was feeling left out, but I pulled up my big-girl-pants, told myself off and tried to enjoy the anticipation.

The next day I was told to pack everything, as we would be heading to the airport from the ‘next place’. Okay. And then we left, heading east towards the Gold Coast – where we pulled up outside an everyday, average looking house in Mermaid Waters.
And then as the roller door lifted and I could see the inside of the home through the huge glass front door – I realised that we were not staying in any average old house…. this place was amazing! And it was to be ‘ours’ for the next 3 nights!

 

view

The view off the Gold Coast high rises

dining

 

pool

pool2kitchen

bathroom2

Bathroom

Master Bathroom – complete with a deep bath, twin shower heads and a steam room – my kind of bathroom!!!!

We had such an amazing time in this house. The kids pretty much swam the entire time, and as we could see them at all times it was so easy to supervise them.
The adults sat around on the comfy couches all.the.time too. Relaxing, listening to music which was piped through to every room {bathroom included}, drinking wine, laughing, cooking and eating amazing food {cooked mostly by J – he is a star} and again  – relaxing!

My actual birthday was a very low key day, I had a massage {booked by a friend xx} and then we sat by the pool and in the pool for the rest of the day. Just an awesome way to celebrate.

And then sadly it was time to leave this beautiful home, and head back to our own. It was very tough to leave, and we all tried to work out how we could stay in this place for longer……sigh…….

I had an amazing time – turning 40 – with fabulous friends, in an incredible place – and I will remember it always. Thanks guys xx

Inching closer…

February 20, 2016

I am inching closer and closer to my 40th Birthday. Which is now in 9 days time.

J has celebrated his, with a evening at the Tour Down Under and a brunch with family. And next it will be my turn to celebrate.
We are heading off to Brisbane my little family and I – to spend some quality time with our great friends the Cz’s. It is only for 5 days, but I am so looking forward to sitting on their back deck sipping on cool drinks, listening to the music that is always playing in their house and chatting the time away. There is some other things planned too – but of that I know nothing… it’s a surprise!🙂

~~~

The last month I have been really focusing on getting back to being active and healthy. I made an effort in January, but the school holidays and the hot weather we have here, really snagged my efforts – so I looked at it as an easing in and then when Feb hit and school went back for the year  – I launched into it and it came pretty easily too.

I have begun back at Bootcamp – each Wednesday and Friday morning in the next town on from us, about 7km away. We do it on the towns footy oval, and have had all sorts of unusual weather already… from misting rain, to warm, to light frosts. And it is  only February. Living in the Adelaide Hills is completely different to living on the Adelaide Plains!
I am really loving the Bootcamp – the instructor Claire – is very young, energetic, happy and relaxed… she is not one to worry about letting a few choice words slip in… and for that I love her. We often begin with a running warm up lap around the oval (dread!) and some knee’s up/back, side steps, sprints and grapevines.
Sometimes the workouts are circuits – working on particular parts – arms/legs/shoulders etc – and the other week it was Tabata week… which is “In a nutshell and in its most basic form the Tabata Method is 20 seconds of hard training followed by 10 seconds of rest repeated 8 times”.

It was a really tough few days of this style of training…especially the burpees… but I was so please to have done it.
Last week we did a 3km time trial, 6.5 laps of the oval. But things got a little mixed up and the few of us at the back of the back {who had been lapped 2x} only did 2.6km…one lap short {I was sure I still had one lap to go went she cheered to say well done you’ve done it…ah well…. I can’t say I wasn’t sad to stop😉 }.
Anyway, I am loving the body changes that this style of training brings…. my shoulders are feeling more toned, my legs feel stronger and my waist is shrinking.🙂

I weighed just before I began, and was not shocked. I knew what I had been eating, and could feel the results – I wrote them in a private diary and some were *sleeping badly, *no longer able to kneel down and touch my butt to my feet, *my ‘bigger’ tops feeling a little snug, *wedding ring no longer fits.
Some of these ‘results’ made me feel rotten. Enough to be motivated to become more conscious when eating, and when choosing what to eat. I won’t go into too much detail, as we all know what is needed to be cut back on…white carbs, sugary foods, junk foods… and what needs to be eaten more. So I have. And I am feeling so much better – I even hopped on a scale this morning and in a month have lost 1.1 kg.
Now I now this is not a HUGE loss for a month, but for me, it is great, I feel better and I know I can keep up what I have been doing and continue to feel great. Whether I lose weight or not, I know I am moving in the right direction, more than I have been for a few years really.

~~~

 

ON the home front, we have been doing a lot of small home improvements… new tap-ware, shelves, hanging pictures, renovating an old run down shed and building a chook house and pen.
We are beginning to really enjoy our time spent up here, and look forward to driving up the driveway and breathing out all the stress of the ‘city’.
This morning I took my coffee and breakfast out to our back patio area and sat and watched the chooks roam, our two sheep scratching themselves on the back fence and the dogs roll in the sun. I also sat with my latest crochet blanket and finished off a row {it’s a queen sized blanket…one row is loooong}. It was very peaceful and lovely, and amazing to think that this is my life right now. So very good.

I have also had a laugh, and smiled that acknowledgement smile, when reading others blogs on turning 40…. of which they say it all so much more eloquently than I ever could.

http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2015/09/40-is-not-new-30.html

http://www.mamamia.com.au/they-say-40-is-the-new-30/

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-seven-stages-of-turning-40/

But it is nice to know I am not the only feeling these things.

 

 

 

 

 

Back….

December 30, 2015

I just can’t write the same title again…..or should I? 7 weeks ago, I wrote about getting back on the rails… and 7 weeks later I again feel the same.

The move, the Uni Intensive, the final very large assignment, the 3 Christmas gatherings hosted here, the 3 days of Christmas celebrations and all in 38+deg heat {our weather has been unseasonably hot this summer so far} has really knocked me about – so much so that yesterday I had a quick nap on the couch at 10:30am and again a catnap at 2:30pm while ‘watching’ the kids at the pool – not the safest thing to do!

Rewinding to discuss early on: After doing a few weeks of Bootcamp  – I was experiencing such incredible fatigue,  during the exercise session I just couldn’t catch my breath & just could.not keep going….I was also having catnaps on the couch at 4pm ish {unlike me}, sleeping in as I was just too tired to get up {again unlike me}, ‘holes’ in my memory and a pesky ongoing husky voice…. so I went to the Dr’s for blood tests. Which again, showed me to be a completely and perfectly healthy {overweight} person…. but with anemia.
So I began to take Iron tablets and while I did not notice feeling ‘so.much.better’, one day I noticed that the tiredness was not there anymore.

Then yesterday when talking to J about my tiredness – he questioned why the Iron tabs are no longer working…. and I realised that I have not taken one for over a week now. Aha!
That could be my problem… as I am having trouble getting up in the morning to exercise & have been feeling general lethargy – which I put down to finally having time to do nothing {which is great too!}.

So I begin again, I took one yesterday, and am about to take another. I am scheduled to take them for 3 months and then go back for blood tests again. I have swirling thoughts now, of what if’s, so I will put them aside and worry if there is something to worry about.

I have also begun again to eat normal food – good breakies, salads at lunch, good healthy dinners – fruit as snacks…. for the busy times for me can be tricky to eat regularly and there has been so many leftovers in our fridge that grabbing those to eat has been easier than thinking/making something healthier.
But now, just about everything crappy has been either eaten, or now just tossed out due to us really not needing it in our house anymore – and we can begin to reclaim some healthy habits.

One thing that is happening in 2016 is that J and I both turn 40.

Yikes that seems so unreal. I do not feel forty – but I look it.

So this year I really need, and want, and have to….. yeah the ‘drill’… it is well known & often said. But I do have to  – and I really need to – and I really want to.

40.

I know it is just a number. But still.

So, onward to a year of good health and good times with my lovely family. xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back on the rails again

November 11, 2015

I do feel so much better now. The walk I did last night was 55 minutes long, which took me to the post office, round the back of the footy oval and back home.

The only yuck bit was that my stomach was huge and bloated by the end of the walk, making me waddle a bit a lot- but I know the cause of that and it is all my own fault. I bought a packet of chips yesterday, on a whim, and they were BBQ flavour…guaranteed to have garlic and/or onion powder in them. Garlic and onion {in any form fresh, powdered etc} – having done a FODMAP elimination diet – are my killers for bloating causing major stomach distension. Like I am 7 months pregnant distended! It’s yucky feeling and makes me look awful.
And I should know better than to eat chips with flavour. I should know better than to eat chips at all!

Having worked as Chef’s for most of our lives – cooking with garlic and onion is second nature – but about 6 months ago I cut them out of home cooking, using instead the green ends of spring onions {“allowed” on FODMAP} and celery to get the beginnings of wet dishes such as pasta sauce or a roux. We have not noticed much of a difference.

Although it does amaze me how we have so easily CUT out onion and garlic – just-like-that! Without even giving it much thought. It was just done.

But have yet to cut out chocolate, chips, lollies and the like🙂 They cause me as much grief…yet I cling on to them!

~

I should be setting myself small goals for the rest of this year to begin to CUT them out of my life too…. As I know it will make me feel so much better again.

Right so I should and so I will!….. this month {11/11/15 – 11/1215} I will cut out eating lollies. No more –  as they make me feel rotten – the same as sausages, onions, garlic and bread.

~

Today I am off to visit a friend for a coffee, write up a menu plan and shopping list, tidy my study in anticipation of a Uni subject beginning in two weeks and a Zumba class.

🙂

Doing it for the good of it..even if I don’t want to!

November 10, 2015

I am feeling frustrated and frumpy.

The reason? A lack of exercise!

The reason? Life, family, kids.

All three have gotten in the way of me moving. And it leaves me cranky and no fun to be around.

I need to get out and move, and as always I need to make that “first” walk an easy one. Something that I can achieve without too much effort, thought or commitment – one that leaves me feeling so much better so I WaNt to head out again!!

So tonight is that walk. I am going to walk to the post box, through a few extra streets of the town and home again.

I know it will have me feeling so much better shortly.

Even though I know I do not want to go out and walk.

I will.

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